American in Spain

Okay, Media. Let’s get one thing straight: The only time you should use the article “an” with the adjective “historic” is if you are not pronouncing the H in “historic” like some British people do. Think ‘enry ‘iggins. Got that, Media!!?!? If I ever see any of you that misuse this phrase crossing the street, you will be the victim of an hit and run.

Phrases that, if uttered during Obama’s speech, should warrant a drink:

• Hope
• Change
• Our Time
• Challenge/Challenging
• Anything about tightening a belt
• Two wars
• Any reference to Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Jobs (where you work, not Steve)
• Global
• Across the aisle
• Bipartisan

Drink if you hear the media coverage use the phrases:

• An historic (also should be accompanied by shouts at television)
• Anything about how we will all remember where we are at this moment (of course you won’t, because you’re playing this drinking game!)
• Slavery
• Any reference to Abraham Lincoln

And if you hear the words “an historic” come out of Obama’s mouth, you have to set the glass aside and finish the rest of the bottle.

If you can’t get near a television for the inauguration, here’s a guide on how to catch it online.