Twisdom 2008

Some unique ideas that occurred to me in 2008.

  • Every day should start with surprise flower bouquets and cards with sweet nothings from your spouse.
  • Fajitas and Spanish wine for lunch. Mouth burning, eyes drooping.
  • I have constructed innumerable desks and IKEA furniture units, but there is something very paternally satisfying about constructing a crib.
  • Have you ever wondered how many prop sets representing the Oval Office there must be in Hollywood? Does every show/movie make their own?
  • Son of an elfing reindeer!!! I finally found something else I want for Xmas, and it doesn’t ship to Spain either!! Elf you, Mr. Claus!
  • It irks me that “ponderance” is not a noun synonymous with “musing”. It really should be. I look it up every couple months, but it never is.
  • Today is the 7-yr-anniversary of my emigration. 7 yrs ago I quit my job, took a suitcase & guitar to the UK to live w/ a girl I hardly knew.
  • Today is a national holiday in Spain. Whenever I ask a Spaniard why it is, they reply, “Oh, it’s some virgin’s day.” I love Catholics.
  • I wonder if being used as hold music for a large corporation is good or bad for an artist’s career? I’m pretty fed up with this song.
  • For breakfast today, I pared a pair of pears.
  • I’m having trouble “thinking positive” about misusing adjectives as adverbs.
  • Does anyone know what percentage of US voters will be forced to vote inside a religious building? Separation of what and what?
  • Just caught my first “there vs. their” typo in a long thyme. I’m usually pretty good about homonym possessives. You’re opinion may very.
  • There’s not nearly enough accordion in pop music these days.
  • To make money on the stock market, you have to buy when no one wants to buy (low price) and sell when no one wants to sell (high price).
  • Pettily Pondering Palin #428: “Are people that talk very nasally annoyed by the way the rest of us talk?”
  • Reading too many US presidential election articles + watching documentary about vast plagues of swarming locusts = VERY weird dreams.
  • The phrase “a heartbeat away from the Presidency” DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE! Stop saying it everybody! You mean a FLATLINE away from the Prez.
  • Whenever Obama mentions McCain in a speech, the crowd listens politely. Whenever McCain mentions Obama, the crowd boos. Very representative.
  • Do you think the Democratic congressmen from Ohio get tired of people joking with the Homer Simpson pronunciation of (D-OH)?
  • Watching Barcelona futbol game and US Prez debate at the same time. Unfortunately, only one was paused because a fan set his chair on fire.
  • Slept through terrorist attack that woke up the neighborhood last night. Such is life in Spain.
  • Today I bought 400 grams of cheese just so I could get a free promotional bottle opener. I’m a sucker. A cheese-loving sucker.
  • If three movies make a trilogy, is Star Wars a sexology?
  • Just had the traditional shot of moonshine with breakfast. Great way to start the day!
  • Just set my ringtone for when my wife calls to Black Magic Woman.
  • There’s a child outside my window with a whistle making me wish I had a sniper rifle.
  • Bought expensive tripod. Timed it to coincide with wife’s big clothes purchase. Marriage is tricky, but occasionally I can score a goal.
  • Watching streaming video of shuttle sticking its Pressurized Mating Adapter #2 into the ISS. Is it getting hot in here?
  • If there’s one thing that should be available to rent, not buy, it’s temporary injury apparatuses like crutches or wheelchairs.
  • Does anyone have any suggestions for hunting (capturing alive) Leprechauns? I’m going ‘chaun hunting tomorrow and need ideas.
  • I wish I had a hitman monkey.
  • “That we haven’t found a cure for the common cold is a conspiracy maintained by Big Kleenex,” sniffles Erik suspiciously.
  • Can…barely….keep….eyelids…..open. No need for ovine census tonig…….
 

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