Denise, ¡Patadas No!

November 16, 2010 By: erik Category: Offspring, Videos 285 views

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Denise, patadas no (screencap)A couple weeks ago, as her mother was drying and dressing her after her bath, Nora began kicking. Her mother told her “¡Patadas no!” (No kicks!) She then told Nora, “Tomorrow, at daycare, you can tell your friend Denise. Denise, ¡patadas no!” For whatever reason, Nora really liked this idea, and she’s since taken to saying “Denise, ¡patadas no!“, particularly when it’s time to go to daycare. As far as we know, Denise, who is about a month older than Nora, has never once kicked Nora or anyone else, but it’s pretty cute.

Today after Nora’s lunch, she started saying it as she was slowly falling into a post-lunch stupor (that’s siesta in Spanish), and I got out my iPhone to record her. Her performance has all the drama of a hipster poetry reading.

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  • She’s very serious about it, isn’t she? Very dramatic. You know, I think she’d do a great job with “Green Eggs and Ham” if you teach it to her. And I just love how’s she’s nearly falling asleep. Our kids used to fall asleep anywhere. Once we even found Rocí­o asleep in the closet, it had curtains instead of doors and we found her lying with her legs sticking out. Nowadays they take forever to go to sleep and there’s nothing they love more than hanging around and not letting us watch anything except Disney Channel.

    • Ugh…the Disney Channel these days is nothing but shows with adolescents dressed up sexier than they should be.

      God, I sound old.

      • Smee

        And ads
        And ads
        for spin the bottle games.

        and ads.

        and the shows themselves are ads.

        and ads.

        And then you switch to clan.

        • Smee

          …unless you’re using the secondary audio channel to teach the kid some English, as annoying as that English may be.

      • Paul

        I saw my first and second “Dora the Explorer” shows yesterday. Has Nora seen any of those? I love how Dora is bilingual, easily mixing her English and Spanish, and how in each show she had a simple 3 part plan to accomplish a goal.

        • Dora’s bilingualism is indeed admirable. I’d still like to strangle her though.

          • Congratulations, Simon! Your anti-Latino views qualify you to live in the great state of Arizona!


          • Not anti-Latino. Just anti-annoyingly perky singing cartoon characters. And their monkeys.

        • Yep. The Apple TV has at least two seasons on it. Of the English version, that is. The Spanish version, on Spanish tv, has the languages inverted, so viewers learn English. It’s quite popular among Nora’s classmates, several of whom call her Nora Exploradora.

          Nora isn’t quite at Dora’s intellectual level yet, mostly just shouting “Dola! Dola!” when Dora is on the screen, but she’ll be there soon.

          • Paul

            In one of the episodes Dora and Boots were in a boat on a stream. “Swiper”, a sneaky fox, appears, and it seems that when this happens Dora (assisted by her viewers) must say “Swiper, no swiping” three times. This seems awfully close to “Denise, ¡patadas no!” I wonder if Nora has encountered the “Name, no verb” pattern in her Dora watching.

          • Not to get all fanboy superior on you, but I’m pretty sure Swiper has to be told not to swipe in every episode. (I’ve seen four.) Dora episodes are full of overt anti-vulpine propaganda.

            I recently came to the realization that she must think “Name, no verb” is very common in human discourse considering how we, out of necessity, speak to her. To a toddler, the world is little more than a series of interesting objects that your parents tell you not to touch. It only makes sense that she’d think treating others the same way was normal.

  • Is “Nini” what she calls herself?

    • That’s “Nena” that she calls her reflection and phoos of herself.

      “Nena” is slang, and endearing, for “girl” in Spanish.

  • Hilarious video.