Monkey Alarm

September 06, 2009 By: erik Category: Funny, Offspring, Parenting 214 views

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Miss Monkey BusinessWe continue to refer to our daughter affectionately as “the monkey”. The reason being that, until she learns how to walk or talk, caring for her isn’t all that dissimilar to caring for any young primate who has learned to user her opposable thumb to grab and tug on everything in sight.

Recently a new behavior has emerged in which she sings in the morning. Every morning at about 8:30, she’ll wake up in her crib and begin singing/screeching vowel sounds, delighted at her ability to vibrate her vocal chords and produce audio stimulus. As we still have the crib in our bedroom, this means that we have a little primate alarm clock and at least one of us must get up when it goes off.

Last night we bathed her a little early and she fell asleep immediately afterwards. The result is that the monkey alarm went off at 7:00 this morning instead of 8:30, roughly twelve hours after her bath (with two feedings during the night). And today it was my turn to get up and bring her downstairs where she is still singing.

The monkey alarm doesn’t have a snooze button.

Miss Monkey Business

  • Monkey is fine name for a child, or an alarm.

  • As a result of Nora’s nickname, “monkey” is one of the members in the four-word English vocabulary of my mother-in-law. When we first told her what it meant, she forbid us to call Nora that, but when we totally ignored her, and she saw that we meant it endearingly, she’s actually called Nora “monkey” a few times. Which I find hilarious, of course.

  • Ugh, our baby-shaped alarm clock usually goes off anywhere between 5 and 6 in the morning. I guess I can’t complain too much because she does sleep through the night.

    Monkey is a good nickname for babies, I think. Especially since most of them seem to like bananas. The perfect food for young primates.

  • Miss Monkey Business gets cuter all the time.

  • “…she\’s actually called Nora “monkey” a few times. Which I find hilarious, of course.”

    That is so sweet. (which strangely, yet sincerely, came out of me, out loud even, in my involuntary-voice-of-Fred Schneider/Mike Henry)

    I was going to ask if it was “monkey” or “mona” or heaven forbid, “el mono”
    I love how having a couple of languages to choose from allows you to get away with new ways of saying things.

    Sadly, all else being equal, I could never see my own mother-in-law going along with it. For that, I envy your good luck in in-laws. (Just don’t tell mine that I said that.)

    About my strange mix of accents: Having gone to K-6 in Virginia, I have a poorly-formed, nascent theory about speech patterns of boys who idolized their southern-belle elementary teachers, and the synchronicity of The Family Guy and the B-52’s

    Collective Unconscious? you decide.

    Did you know Truman Capote and Harper Lee were childhood friends?

    Some mannerisms are hard to shake, and some you don’t even realize you have, until you see them exaggerated in others.

    I also went to High School in Southern California, where I picked up the other way of saying “Sweet!” as well.


    Sometimes I wonder how the British feel about what we keep doing to the language. Other times I realize they are going right along with it.

    • Well, that was a stream-of-consciousness comment.

      First of all, my mother-in-law was actually saying “monkey”, in English. The irony of the whole thing, of course, is that if you call a girl “mona” (which also means female monkey) in Spanish, it’s a complement meaning that she’s particularly pretty.

      Man, I’m so looking forward to The Cleveland Show. Family Guy is spectacular.

      Having lived in England for four years, I can tell you that the British completely butcher the English language much worse than any American. And the accents change when you go 5 miles from one town to another. The worst English I’ve ever heard was spoken in England. Of course every dialect is sacred…whatever.

  • “the British completely butcher the English language”. Granted. So do many other nationalities.
    “much worse than any American”. I beg to differ. I present exhibit ‘A’, the word “chillax”.

  • “Chillax” is like the Snuggie. The irony that people like it, because they KNOW it’s just wrong, only feeds even more into its popularity and usage. And yet, no one; not those who glibly spiel about how sawsome it is to be chillaxin, and certainly not its detractors, would ever want to see its unpropitious adoption into Webster’s, as that would immediately kibosh on all the fun of using it.

  • I spoke too soon:
    The very dictionary upon which the kibosh has begun to be placed.

    quel horreur

    • Oh dear! Try to stay calm…you know, chill and relax.