Bovine Anatomy Lesson

This morning during my daily visit to the grocery store, my friend, neighbor and butcher, Bruno, had something to show me. Normally he doesn't get whole calves to sell, but today he did. When I was there, he was in the process of carving out the kidneys, heart, and other parts (it was a male calf). If you don't want to see the insides of dead things or my local butcher, look away now.

Bruno and his bovine head.

Then he goes in the back and pulls out what you're about to see and says, "How about these? Do you know what these are?"

He said, "Show these to your American friends so they know I have cojones!"

Peeled cow testicles. Didn't think you'd be reading those words today, did you? Bruno's brother, my friend Andrés, assures me that fried cow testicles, if tasted under a veil of ignorance, are actually quite delicious.

Carving off the cheek. Beef cheeks are a delicacy in Spain.

Cheek removed.

Cracking open the skull with a hatchet. When it comes time for my lobotomy, remind me not to have Bruno do it.

Brain exposed. Getting hungry yet?

A brain in hand is worth... No, nevermind. Cows have a pretty small encephalization quotient.

If you're still hungry after all this, perhaps I could interest you in a cow tongue recipe.